Category: Uncategorized

Samuel Itsede Abuja

Minister of Labour and Employment, Chris Ngige met separately with the members of the Joint National Public Service Negotiating Council; the leadership of Trade Union Congress of Nigeria(TUC) and the Nigeria Labour Congress(NLC) over the impasse arising from the consequential adjustment of the National Minimum Wage.

While the meeting with the Labour commenced by 11:30 and ended 2pm, that with the Joint National Public Service Negotiating Council lasted for several hours.

Sources privy to the meeting, said they resolved that each group would hold further meetings to sort out all outstanding disagreements before a high level conclusive meeting will be held to wrap up all discussions.

It is believed that the meeting will pave the way for an equable implementation of the Consequential Adjustment of the Minimum Wage.

The final meeting where a resolution would be taken may hold on Tuesday, 15th October, 2019.

Among those in attendance were Hon. Minister of Finance, Budget and Planning, Hajia Zainab Ahmed, Hon. Minister of State, Finance, Budget and Planning, Clement Agba, Hon. Minister of State, Labour and Employment, Festus Keyamo(SAN) Head of Service of the Federation, Dr. Folashade Yemi- Esan, Director General, Budget Office of the Federation, Ben Akabueze, Acting Chairman, National Salaries Income and Wages Commission Ekpo Nta and the Accountant General of the Federation, Ahmed Idris.

Also present were Deputy President NLC, Comrade Amaechi Asogwuni, the General Secretary of the NLC, Comrade Emmanuel Ugboaja, Comrade Achaver Simon as well as the representatives of the Trade Union Congress(TUC) standing in for the Labour .

Recall that Ngige while meeting with the leadership of the yet to be registered United Labour Congress, last week, had stated that an additional N580billion would be required by the federal government to implement the new wage system.

He had also stated that government was at a loss where to source such funds from, stressing that Labour cannot afford to embark on strike after they must have been exposed to government’s financial records.

Recall that labour leaders on October 7th issued a communiqué, warning that economic activities would be shut down on October 16, if the Federal Government failed to reconvene a meeting of the committee on consequential adjustments.

Secretary-General of the JNPSNC, Alade Lawal, told a meeting of the Association of Senior Civil Servants of Nigeria in Abuja that workers had started mobilising for a strike.

He said the partial implementation of the minimum wage for levels one to six was a ‘divide-and-rule’ system that would be vehemently opposed by labour.

“As far as I am concerned, nothing has been implemented. What are they implementing? We are negotiating something and somebody went behind to start issuing one circular.

“As far as we are concerned, nothing has been done and if you want to look at it, levels one to three has been out-sourced.

“How many people are there? So when you even look at the circular, it is full of errors. As far as we are concerned, no circular has been issued.

“You have a salary structure, you have a ratio between the minimum and the maximum. When the minimum was 18,000, you have what you have at the maximum, then you have tilted the minimum to 30,000, are you going to leave the table there?

“It is distortion. You don’t allow distortion and it’s not allowed anywhere in the world. That is why you do consequential adjustment,’’ he argued.

Lawal pointed out that organised labour was not opposed to discussion, consultations or anything.

He said that what was worrisome was the delay in reconvening the meeting of the committee on consequential adjustment.

“In the communiqué, issued last week by TUC, NLC and the Joint Council, we were asking the government to reconvene the committee and within one week, let the committee complete its assignment.

“As Labour, we are not averse to discussion, consultations or anything. But they are yet to reconvene the main meeting of the committee.

“What I am saying is that the minister is free to call us. We will go. We are hoping that maybe he wants to use it to talk to the two sides before reconvening the meeting.

“What I am saying is that you can’t sign an agreement in an informal meeting until you reconvene the meeting of the committee handling the negotiation on consequential adjustment”.

Jennifer Yusuf Abuja

Barely few hours after President Muhammadu Buhari presented the 2020 appropriations bill to the National Assembly for passage, he followed suit by administering oaths of office on members of the newly constituted Presidential Economic Advisory Council (PEAC).

In doing so, he indirectly set agenda for them, insisting that they must find ways to pull 100million Nigerians out of the poverty bracket within a ten year timeframe.

Although Buhari is settling down for the last lap of his administration, having been re-elected President recently, he also tasked the new economic team led by Prof. Doyin Salami, a former member of the monetary policy committee of the Central Bank of Nigeria to develop reliable data that would aid development programmes.

All these the President noted should be accomplished within the shortest possible time.

“Find a way to coordinate and synthesize ideas and efforts on how to lift 100 million Nigerians out of poverty in 10 years, working in collaboration with various employment generating agencies of government,” he told the PEAC.

Other members that constitute the 8-man Council includes Muhammed Sagagi, Ode Ojowu, Shehu Yahaya,Iyabo Masha, Chukwuma Soludo, Bismark Rewane and Mohammed Adaya Salisu.

While lamenting the dearth of reliable data, Buhari said it was disheartening to know that foreigners stay in their comfort zones and gather data which does not properly reflect what is happening in Nigeria.

“What I see as your most important national assignment is that as you develop your baseline study, I would like you to focus on primary data collection.

‘‘Today, most of the statistics quoted about Nigeria are developed abroad by the World Bank, IMF and other foreign bodies.

‘‘Some of the statistics we get relating to Nigeria are wild estimates and bear little relation to the facts on the ground.

‘‘This is disturbing as it implies we are not fully aware of what is happening in our own country.

‘‘We can only plan realistically when we have reliable data. As you are aware, as a government, we prioritised agriculture as a critical sector to create jobs and bring prosperity to our rural communities.

‘‘Our programs covered the entire agricultural value chain from seed to fertiliser to grains and ultimately, our dishes.

‘‘As you travel in some rural communities, you can clearly see the impact. However, the absence of reliable data is hindering our ability to upgrade these programmes and assure their sustainability,” he stated.

The Council, constituted on September 16, 2019, to replace the Economic Management Team (EMT) headed by Vice President Yemi Osinbajo was also mandated to develop a baseline study that will help shape ideas for a sustainable and prosperous future, especially as it affects internally displaced persons in the North East.

On the Social Investment Programmes (SIPs), the President told members that his administration was working to measure the impact of the programme targeted at improving the well-being of millions of poor and vulnerable citizens.

As such, the President said he had directed the new Minister for Humanitarian Affairs to commence a comprehensive data-gathering exercise in all Internally Displaced Persons (IDP) camps in the North East.

‘‘Today, we hear international organisations claiming to spend hundreds of millions of dollars on IDPs in the North East. But when you visit the camps, you rarely see the impact.

‘‘In 2017, when the National Emergency Management Agency took over the feeding of some IDPs in Borno, Yobe and Adamawa, the amount we spent was significantly lower than the claims made by these international organisations.

‘‘Therefore, actionable data is critical to implement effective strategies to address pressing problems such as these humanitarian issues.
‘‘I, therefore, look forward to receiving your baseline study as this will help us shape ideas for a sustainable and prosperous future,’’ the President said.

While making further remarks, he said,”I am told you worked throughout last weekend in preparation for this meeting.

”I have listened attentively to findings and ideas on how to move the country and the economy forward.

”Yes, Nigeria has exited the recession. But our reported growth rate is still not fast enough to create the jobs we need to meet our national ambition of collective prosperity.

”Reason being we had to tread carefully in view of the mess we inherited.

”Many of the ideas we developed in the last four years were targeted at returning Nigeria back to the path of growth.

”I am sure you will also appreciate that during that time, our country was also facing serious challenges especially in the areas of insecurity and massive corruption.

”Therefore, I will be the first to admit that our plans were conservative. We had to avoid reckless and not well thought out policies.

”However, it was very clear to me after we exited the recession that we needed to re-energise our economic growth plans. This is what I expect from you”.

President Buhari also assured the Council that the Federal Government will ensure that all their needs and requests were met before the next technical sessions in November.

He said all key ministries, departments and agencies will be available to meet and discuss with them on how to collectively build a new Nigeria that caters for all.

”Now, no one person or a group of persons has a monopoly of knowledge or wisdom or patriotism.

”In the circumstances, you may feel free to co-opt, consult and defer to any knowledgeable person if in your opinion such a move enriches your deliberations and add to the quality of your decisions, ” he said.

Chairman of Council, Professor Salami, said the mandate was about “Nigeria first, Nigeria second, and Nigeria always,” adding that it was about Nigerians, not as numbers, but as people.
He added: “Our goal is that the economy grows in a manner that is rapid, inclusive, sustained and sustainable, so that Nigerians will feel the impact.”

Recall that President Buhari had on June 12, 2019 while commemorating democracy day festivities at the Eagle Square, Abuja, pledged that his administration in it’s second term will pull 100million Nigerians out of poverty, a development that prompted diverse reactions from cross section of Nigerians.

A Brookings Institution report recently placed Nigeria as the hub of poverty in the world having displaced India with a population of 1.324billion people as against Nigeria’s 200 million.

The report had also alleged that the number of Nigerians in extreme poverty increases by six people every minute.

Soft skills are your people or relationship skills—how well you get along with others and your ability to communicate and collaborate—as well as the personal characteristics you bring to the job, such as optimism, a can-do attitude and the motivation to work hard. These skills are not always easy to point out, but their absence can cause serious problems and negatively affect the whole work atmosphere.

Well, they say that hard skills will help you get the job, but soft skills will help you get along—and get ahead. With that in mind, here’s the top-10 essential soft skills list to help you advance your career.

1. Communication Skills
Communication skills are hands-down the most sought-after soft skill that bosses want, and this one ability covers a lot of ground.

To communicate well, you have to listen carefully, interpret the context of the conversation, express yourself clearly, persuade others of your point of view, check your body language and use an engaging presentation style that won’t intimidate or bore your audience. That’s a big ask!

Your personality traits can influence the way you communicate with others. For instance, some people get straight to the point and center their arguments around facts and logic; others are cooperative and sensitive to how others feel. Both these approaches are equally valuable but there can be misunderstandings if you don’t understand where the other person is coming from.

Taking a comprehensive personality test can help you understand why you communicate the way you do and where your blind spots are. It can also help you understand other communication styles is so you can tailor your communication to the person you’re dealing with.

After all, connecting with your conversation partner is the hallmark of good communication.

2. Flexibility
Change is an essential part of any business. Companies need employees who are flexible enough to work with new initiatives, open to new ideas, and generally are able to tough it out when things don’t go as planned.

Research has found a link between job performance and flexibility over the long term because there will be times when you have to step outside your routine and rise to fresh challenges that didn’t exist before.

Being flexible doesn’t mean you have to hop into a new task or job role like an expert. Rather, it’s about showing you’re willing to accept new responsibility and learn different things.

Bosses look for people who are prepared to step outside their comfort zones and are open to alternative solutions when their first idea doesn’t work.

3. Being a Team Player
Working on a team can be challenging but learning to do it well can definitely help you get ahead in your career. Employers look for people who can negotiate, cooperate and manage conflicts with other people to achieve a common goal. That includes the ability to build lasting relationships with customers and clients.

What makes a good team player? Essentially, it’s someone who knows the goal and knows her role. Employers look for evidence that you know your strengths, your responsibilities and how you can best contribute to the team, then put those skills into action by sharing ideas and communicating in a respectful manner. That’s the definition of being a good team player.

This is another area where taking a personality test can help you get ahead. When teams work together, each member brings a unique set of skills and qualities to the group. Research has shown that different combinations of personalities affect how teams collaborate and how productive they are.

Knowing who you are, and how you work on a team, can drive new insights and open the door to better teamwork.

4. Positive Mental Attitude
There are plenty of things you can’t change at work, like the people you work with or the fact that the printer is broken again. The one thing you can change is how much you let these things bother you.

Bosses like people who are calm, rational and upbeat—those who diffuse tensions in the workplace, not get all grouchy and go around slamming doors.

Studies show that people who maintain a sunny disposition have better relationships at work, are happier in their jobs and make better decisions than those who whine and complain. Some suggest that a positive mental attitude can also make you live longer—which means it’s beneficial for every area of your life!

It’s not always easy to keep a “glass half full” mentality when work is stressful and the deadlines are piling up. But there are some things you can do to help maintain a positive attitude. Laughing at your unfortunate circumstances keeps the work environment positive, and taking “sanity” breaks can help you keep your cool in high-pressure situations.

Managers look for positive mental attitude in a team member that is ready for a promotion, so it really does pay to keep your cool in challenging situations.

5. A Strong Work Ethic
People with a strong work ethic are committed to the role, persevere when things get tough and are inspired by challenge. These people are ambassadors for the organization, and will always be seen as top talent and ideal candidates.

If you can exhibit this skill, then expect to be seen as a great candidate, eligible for new opportunities and positions throughout your career.

Since a strong work ethic can mean different things to different people, it helps to show specific examples of your exceptional work ethic during a performance appraisal or interview. For instance, you might talk about:

a. A time when you persisted in the face of challenges and did not shy away from hard work.

b. How you volunteered to help with projects even though these tasks did not form part of your job description.

c. The networking, workplace learning and skills betterment you’ve undertaken, which shows ambition and drive (people with a strong work ethic have those qualities in spades).

d. How you own your mistakes and never, ever point the finger of blame at others.

6. Public Speaking
Who’s terrified of public speaking? Pretty much everyone, since public speaking is America’s number one fear, ahead of death at number five and loneliness at number seven.

Yet, according to Warren Buffett, mastering this one skill you could increase your personal value by 50 percent. That’s huge!

If you’re not natural at public speaking, you’re in good company. Buffett had to work hard to overcome his stage fright and once dropped out of a public-speaking course before it started—because he was afraid of public speaking! He eventually realized that he needed to build up his confidence by just doing it; over and over in front of small groups.

For a more structured approach, Toastmasters International teaches public speaking and leadership skills through a variety of pathways. Membership of this non-profit looks good on your resume but the real payoff will come when you can put your newfound skills to use on the job or in the interview room.

7. Integrity
From a manager’s point of view, the two integrity skills that will set you apart are:

a. Always doing what you say you will do

b. Owning an error instead of minimizing or hiding it…even when no one is around to check up on you.

There are lots of people who have climbed the ladder without scruples, but they are not the people who others trust, respect and support when promotion time comes around.

Behaving with integrity is a safe and consistent way to enhance your reputation and achieve your professional goals.

8. Managing Your Time
Phone calls, texts, Slack pings, meetings, huddles, side projects, multitasking—we are busier today than any generation before us. There’s no denying the workplace is an incredibly distracting place to be.

A lot of us have traded effectiveness for busyness which we wear as a badge of honor, both as a proxy for productivity and to show our value to the company. But what bosses want, what they really, really want, is someone who actually gets stuff done on time.

Time management is not merely the art of being on time, but of managing your time so you focus on the projects that really matter and add value to the business. This means prioritizing well, sticking to schedules, delegating, and not getting distracted by tasks that are easier to perform or less important. It means planning ahead and learning when it’s appropriate to say no.

Time management can be a tough skill to maintain, but not a difficult one to pick up. Monitor your actions for a few days—how long do your tasks take to finish? What’s interrupting you? What causes you to lose focus? Once you have the answers to these questions, you can set a schedule for yourself to make sure you’re spending your time wisely and this valuable asset is never wasted.

9. Assertiveness
In any workplace, you typically will find people with the following conflict styles:

a. Passive: Those who go out of their way to avoid conflict.

b. Passive-aggressive: Those who express their negative feelings through actions rather than words.

c. Aggressive: Those who respond to conflict in a hostile and rude manner. These people get their opinion heard but they won’t make any friends in the process.

d. Assertive: People who stick up for their rights while still respecting the rights of others.

Managers look for assertiveness above all other styles because it allows decisions to be made without conflict or alienating people.

How do you use this information for yourself?

It starts with understanding your personality so you can anticipate how you will react when conflict arises and address your own shortcomings. Then, you can start influencing the team for top results, and securing your own career advancement in the process.

10. Creative Thinking
LinkedIn recently analyzed over 50,000 skills that employers search for when looking for candidates to find out what skills are currently in demand. Taking the number-one slot on the 2019 soft skills list was creativity: the ability to solve problems and think outside the box.

Creativity is about bringing fresh, and sometimes unorthodox, ideas to the table. This helps companies to innovate, and companies that do not innovate will not survive very long.

How do you showcase your creative thinking skills? The golden rule is to participate.

Be brave and share your ideas during group brainstorming sessions. Volunteer to run a society, networking event or recruitment drive. Ask “what if” questions: “What if we add this information to the client welcome pack?” “What if we eliminate step 3 from the process?”

These activities demonstrate that you’re prepared to go beyond “business as usual” towards creative problem solving—an ability that will serve you every day, all throughout your career.

Discover the 8 simple tips to keep the momentum going for you to continuously achieve personal growth:

1. Grow at Your Own Pace at Something You’re Passionate About
Along with the rise of smartphones, social media platforms have been a staple in our daily lives. Stories of success, while inspiring at times, when served in a disproportionately higher frequency than stories about the ongoing hardship of climbing to the job, can leave even the better of us feeling rather inadequate. Sooner or later, you tend to compare yourself and start to question your current life’s path.

But the thing is, every journey is not the same for everyone. As cliché as it may sound, you need to stop comparing and start appreciating your individual journey. Chart out a path that aligns with your personal values and needs.

To begin, think of your interests and passions. Try to recall your childhood memories. What did you love to do as a child? Bill Gates once said that you’re likely to excel at something that you were obsessed with when you were 12 – 18 years old.

If nothing stands out, then think of what sparks joy in your life now? What are the things you could talk about for hours?

For example, if you have been watching foreign movies for a while, maybe it is time to learn the language. Imagine how rewarding it will be when you are finally able to sit through a movie and ditch the subtitles.

“Enlightenment must come little by little – otherwise it would overwhelm.” – Idries Shah

Once you have found your passion, you must be patient. Remember that it is okay to take it slow and not rush the process. It may seem to you that everyone else except you is moving forward at the speed of light, that’s probably just a mere illusion. Even if it is true, do not feel demotivated and be brave to grow at your own pace.

2. Make Use of Curiosity to Cultivate Soft Skills
Soft skills are just as important as hard skills. In fact, you need to cultivate soft skills not only to shine at your workplace, but also to become a better human being.

Let us consider empathy, for example, which is considered one of the most important soft skills to have at the workplace and in life. Empathy is commonly associated with having similar past experiences. Award-winning graphic novelist Gene Luen Yang agrees that empathy for others can come from having experienced something similar.

But how do we empathize even with the lack of experience?

The answer is to be curious of everything! The next time that someone tells you that they can no longer cope with something, before you formulate your response, be curious and put yourself in their situation.

Suppose that you are a breadwinner husband and wonder why your stay-at-home wife whines so much about how tired she is at the end of the day. Perhaps you can volunteer to substitute her role during the weekend. You’d be surprised of how your view may dramatically change.

Being curious does not only cultivate your empathy but also enhance your decision-making skills, while at the same time pave the way for your own personal growth.

3. Kaizen Approach: Aim for 1% Progress, Not Perfection
Personal growth is a lifelong process. Sure, being a perfectionist to a certain extent may have its place, but overdoing it and you may risk doing a disservice to yourself and the people around you, as in the case of the creative genius, Steve Jobs.

If you are plagued with striving for perfectionism, it is better to shift your focus on the progress that you’ve made, rather than perfection, in order to avoid feeling discouraged. In fact, perfectionism can have serious adverse effects on your mental health.

To give you an idea, pretend that you are into arts and decide to try calligraphy. You’d realize that it is so much harder than it looks once you’d pick up the pen. Suddenly, your goal of achieving the mastery level that you’d once dreamed of seems too daunting of a task…and you may be tempted to throw in the towel.

First of all, do a reality check. Accept that you won’t become a calligraphy expert overnight. However, your skills will slowly improve if you keep practicing everyday. Change your mindset of aiming to be 1% better than yesterday, which is known as the Kaizen approach.

To summarize this point, stop beating yourself up when progress seems slow. Focus instead on achieving at least a 1% progress everyday. Small but ongoing positive changes will get you there eventually.

“Be patient with yourself. Self-growth is tender; it’s holly ground. There’s no greater investment.” – Stephen Covey

4. Start a Journal and Track Daily Habits
Now come the question:

How to know that you are progressing?

“Inevitable we find ourselves tackling too many things at the same time, spreading our focus so thin that nothing gets the attention it deserves. This is commonly referred to as ‘being busy’. Being busy, however, is not the same thing as being productive.” – Ryder Carroll.

The answer is simple. Document everything whether in actual or electronic journal. What gets measured, gets done. Routine measurement and documentation help you identify the gaps that are holding you back from achieving goals.

For example, you can plot a line graph to track your weight as well as your calorie consumption and physical activities for the day, so as to get a better clarity of what works for and against your fitness goal.

You can also use your journal to develop or break a habit. New study found that it requires a minimum of 66 consecutive days of doing something to develop it as a habit — an act that comes naturally to you without involving any willpower.

The simplest habit tracker is in the form of a table, where you list down all of the activities that you want to track on the left-side column and have the days of the week in the following columns. Remember to be specific when listing the activity. For example, “Drink 2 liters of water” is better than “Drink water”.

It is entirely up to you whether you want to maintain a minimalist or artistic journal. If artistic journaling appeals to you, you can try the Bullet Journal Method.

5. Boost ‘Happy’ Neurotransmitters
As you progress in ahead in your quest for personal growth, don’t forget to celebrate the small victory along the way by treating yourself to something nice. It does not have to be extravagant. Whether it is indulging your favorite ice cream, having a picnic by the lake or buying stuff from your wish list, go ahead and reward yourself without any guilt.

These small celebrations can boost neurotransmitters – serotonin and dopamine – that make you happy. Serotonin works by improving your overall mood, while dopamine works as a motivator that pushes you to achieve your goals, so that you can delight in the reward later. Make these two neurotransmitters work to your advantage.

You can learn more about How To Celebrate Small Wins To Achieve Big Goals here.

It is important to always be proud of how far you’ve come along. After all, Rome was not built in a day, and there is no such thing as an overnight success.

6. Get the Social Support You Need
You’ve probably heard the saying that you are the average of five people you spend the most time with. A scientific research has disproved that theory – you are actually the average of all the people you surround yourself with.

The people around you play a big role in your journey to achieve continuous personal growth as they directly and subconsciously affect your attitudes and emotions. People who radiate positive vibes can offer you multiple kinds benefits. Apart from the social support that pushes you to be better, their positivity can also rub off of you.

“People inspire you, or they drain you. Pick them wisely.” – Hans F. Hasen

But what to do if the people that are currently in your life do not share the values that you hold and aspire to?

You can join online groups or find local communities – both are easily found through a quick Google search. Make use of these platforms to exchange knowledge and opinions, to boost motivation, or to just bask in their positivity.

Make it a point to cut out toxic friends and surround yourself with the ones that cherish your small victories. Sometimes, knowing someone is rooting for your success can be a good enough reason to persevere. A social support will catalyze your growth and make your journey a little bit easier.

7. Find Happiness in the Little Things
Science has proven that attitude of gratitude is just as important as other moral values. But it can be difficult to appreciate the good things that happen in your life when you are having a tough time. As you bury yourself in negative thoughts, it becomes nearly impossible to move forward.

Writing one line of gratitude per day trains you to find happiness in the little things even if it seems like nothing good is happening now. Whether it is the good traffic and weather, a compliment from your boss, a delicious lunch or affection from your cats, the small happenings that you tend to miss out are worth to be thankful for.

Besides that, you can start by saying ‘thank you’ to others more often. Who knows what miracles you can bring to their lives. After all, we are all interconnected in some ways.

Expressing gratitude helps you to feel good about yourself and your life. And when you feel good, you’ll be more driven to continue growing as a person. Take a look at these 6 Ways To Implement More Gratitude In Your Life.

“Thank you is the bridge from where you are now to the life of your dreams. Your life will change by practicing gratitude and saying thank you.” – Rhonda Byrne

8. Emphasize on Self-Care
You may have been misled to believe that self-care is about pampering yourself – for instance, splurging on a new handbag or that expensive spa treatment after a job well done.

Self-care is about being disciplined in nourishing your body and your mind. This includes eating right to ensure that your macro nutrient and micro nutrient intakes are as per recommended, and getting enough quality sleep at night.

If the only means of physical activity you do in a day is taking out the trash, it’s time to step up the game. The key is to choose an exercise that brings you joy. It could be running in the park, swimming, joining Pilates or kickboxing classes. A routine exercise lets the brain function effectively and helps you live longer too.

Remember this: A healthy body and an alert brain will tremendously help you in your personal growth.

Going on a date sometimes feels like going for an audition. You feel a mixture of nerves, excitement and even mortal fear. You want to impress the guy, but you’re worried about your hair and whether you’ll have anything funny to say. Moreover, what if he looks nothing like his picture? And what if he doesn’t even turn up? Ow.

Like with anything in life, first impressions on a date matter. Make a great impression on him, and who knows where this can lead? To make sure you’re as confident as possible, here is how to make a good impression on a first date.

Plan some things to talk about beforehand
Your number one plan is to make sure that he knows you’re not boring. You want to leave him with the impression that you’re a girl who has things to say. You can hold a conversation, and you’re up for talking about a diverse number of subjects. On a first date, though, nerves can sometimes get on top of us so much that we can’t think of anything to talk about. We become tongue-tied, and the conversation descends into periods of silence. To make sure this doesn’t happen to you, a good tip on how to make a good impression on a first date is to plan a few things to talk about beforehand. So whenever the conversation looks as though it’s dying, you can call on one of these interesting subjects to resurrect matters.

Always be positive
You’re heading out on a first date, so you should be feeling positive already, right? If you can’t seem to muster those positive vibes, it’s important that you do. An easy way to leave a bad first impression on a date is by being a downer who can’t stop complaining.

Imagine if you found yourself complaining about your job, your family and your whole life to your date? And imagine if you heaved a great big sigh and asked, “what’s the point of anything?” Um. Check please!

So, how to make a good impression on a first date? Go into your date with positivity. Be smiley, happy and engaging. It’s the best way to leave a great impression on a first date.

Put your phone away
A really easy way to leave a bad first impression is to be permanently attached to your phone. Whether you’re just checking it or actually replying to messages frequently, it’s going to say to the guy that you’re not really interested, and that you’re a bit rude. One of useful tips on how to make a good impression on a first date is to put it away. Don’t let it distract you.

Don’t Talk About Your Ex
Your ex just called you last night wanting to talk? Tell it to your best friend. Don’t get tempted to bring it up on your first date. Bringing up your ex tells the guy that there are still feelings that you’re harbouring, and that you haven’t quite got over the relationship ending yet. You might think it’s okay to criticise your ex and bash him. But that’s just as bad as singing his praises. Why? The guy is going to be worried that he’ll suffer a similar fate in the future!

Don’t Get Into Your Problems
In the movie Swingers, Vince Vaughn and Jon Favreau go on a hastily put-together “date” with two Las Vegas cocktail waitresses. For Vince’s character, the date is going smoothly. That is, until Jon opens up to his date about his problems. Before we know it, both girls are comforting him, and all bets are off for Vince. The date is totally over.

In the car afterwards, Jon says that he couldn’t help opening up to her. “She asked.”

“You didn’t have to get into it, baby,” says Vince.

The thing is that it can be really easy to open up about our problems to our date if we feel like they’d be good listeners and the moment is right. But just because they’re willing to listen , it doesn’t mean that we should open up. First dates are meant to be fun. They’re a laid-back “getting to know you” period. So, a great tip on how to make a good impression on a first date is to save the problems and drama for some other time. Otherwise, you’re sending out the impression that what you really need is not a relationship – you need a therapist.

Treat Him Like A Friend
The trap a lot of people fall into on a first date is being too polite. Is there such a thing? Yes!

When we’re so anxious to impress our date, we can easily lose sight of who we really are. We forget to engage in banter, to flirt and to tease. We’re overly polite, dish out too many compliments and fawn too much. And all of this can be off-putting.

One of good tips on how to make a good impression on a first date is to just be yourself. Act like he’s your friend. Tease him. Loosen up.

Practice On Your Listening Skills
Do you think you’re a good listener? Really and truly?

Okay. But if you’re not so sure, you should work on your listening skills before you head out on a first date. Many of us are good at hearing things, but few of us are the best at actually listening. When we hear, we take information in while we’re otherwise distracted. Maybe we’re playing with our phones while someone is talking to us. When we actively listen to someone, we give them our full attention. We put our phones down and ask questions based on what they’ve just said. Good listening skills are especially important if you want to make a good impression on a guy on the first date. You want him to know that you’re listening to him, and that you’re not just waiting for him to stop talking so that you can start again.

Ask him questions. Take a proper interest in him. Don’t fall into the trap of making this all about you.

The ladies man is that one man that has all the ladies to himself. Ladies feel very comfortable and happy around him. He has no business Kissing and telling because the ladies take on that responsibility.

I bet you will like to be in such position. Fortunately, earning the title “Ladies’ man” is very simple than you could ever think.

1. Be extremely nice

Most often, ladies men are portrayed in movies as jerks, rude and arrogant. Trust me, that is only a screen character. Truth is, no lady would like to be with a man that has a cold heart. Be kind to her in all ways. That is a good starter.

2. Know her to the core

Interestingly, ladies easily connect with folks that have a wider knowledge about their persona. What excites them, what brings them down, how they relate to matters and so on. Knowing her name, residence and social media handle are never enough.

3. Be sensitive

The most earnest way of getting the ladies in your court is by being totally human about things issues. Respond to her emotions. Share in both happy and down moments. It’s a beautiful thing when a man respects the state of mind of a lady.

4. Take sides with her

Ladies feel they are always right which we all know they aren’t; that’s not always the case . How about taking sides with them just to have them to yourself. Swallow that pride just to take a stance with her on matters.

One thing you wouldn’t like to have with the ladies are petty arguments. They would never see you in the light you want them to.

5. Maximum Attention

Now, this is the perfect ladies man therapy ever. Women for reasons best known to them love it when a man gives them maximum attention.

Make the ladies feel they mean entirely the world to you. Regular checkups through calls, text and possibly spending the weekends together. That way you create the illusion of the perfect gentleman.

If you find yourself in this situation, where your man is perfect but the sex life is lacking, take a look at this advice before you waste too many years on sex that doesn’t make your toes curl.

1. Find The Root Cause

What makes it so bad? Is it a compatibility issue? Is it boring? Maybe sex can be bad because you’re experiencing sexual pain. According to Marin, we need to spend some time figuring out what exactly makes it so bad in order to fix it.

For example, if it’s boring, maybe couples just aren’t putting enough effort in and want it to happen naturally. If someone is experiencing sexual pain, maybe they have a condition they’re not aware of. Maybe they have a past history of experiencing sexual abuse.

Whatever it is, you need to take a step back to figure out the underlying cause for the bad sex in order to move forward.

2. Communicate

Once you figure out the base problem, the key to solving it is through communication. Don’t be afraid to tell your partner what’s working and what’s not. After all, how can you help solve the problem if they didn’t even know there was one to begin with?

3. Stop Worrying About Technique

One major reason why people don’t enjoy sex as much as they could is because they’re too in their heads. They overthink things. They overanalyse too much. But don’t do that. Be present!

Getting out of your head, getting more into the moment, getting into your body, and discovering the things that you like to do is the most important. Discovering the ways that your body likes to move.

It’s not about technique and being perfect and going through all these steps. It’s about enjoying yourself, having fun, and genuinely caring and connecting with your partner.