Category: Featured

Here are 10 sure signs your boyfriend/husband has respect for you:

1. He gives you his full attention

This one seems really obvious, but not when one of the most common issues women have, is feeling a lack of attention from a guy. Be careful to separate neediness from the right to feel wanted, but, when a man respects you he does want to see you, talk to you, answer your calls right away and fully engage when you’re together.

If he often cancels plans, neglects to respond back to messages, doesn’t initiate dates or texts his mates during romantic dinners, respect for you isn’t really at the top of his mind. You deserve the attention you want to give in a relationship and if he’s not available – physically, emotionally or mentally – move on and invest your valuable time in someone who is.

2. He’s interested in your opinions

There’s nothing worse than voicing an opinion during a conversation and being immediately shut down. Whether he agrees with you or not, a man who respects you will be interested in what you have to say and eager to debate the finer details of it. He’ll be curious about how your mind works and interested to delve right in.

In fact, he’ll regularly ask for your opinion and take it very seriously. Just like women, most men want the company of someone who can offer advice, different perceptions and mental stimulation. If you’re with a guy who either laughs when you offer a point of view or dismisses it off hand, not only is he showing a lack of respect, he’s got a lot of growing up to do.

3. He doesn’t try to control you

When you think about controlling behavior, whether it’s from a guy, a boss or a parent, the foundation of it is generally fear or insecurity. For example, a boss might throw his or her weight around because they’re on a power trip that covers up their self-esteem issues. A parent may try to control your actions because they’re fearful something bad will happen to you.

In the case of relationships, controlling men use the behavior as a form of protection, for themselves. While this often manifests in a display of power and strength, it comes from a deeply ingrained place of fear, insecurity or feelings of unworthiness. In the beginning, controlling you might mean simple actions like ordering your meal without asking what you want or trying to influence your decisions.

Already, this shows a lack of respect because a guy who cares trusts that you know how to run your own life. Over time, these small actions can turn into jealousy, possessiveness, manipulation and even violence. Always respect yourself enough to keep control of your own life, firmly in your own hands.

4. He opens up emotionally

It may be a stereotype that men find it hard to open up emotionally, but, alas, sometimes it’s true. Whether it’s society constrictions, upbringing or insecurity, the world just isn’t as accepting of men displaying emotions, as it is with women. Therefore, when a guy does open up to you about his past, his worries or his fears, you can be sure he respects you enough to be vulnerable with you.

This has as much to do with trust, as it does with respect. In fact, it’s hard to trust someone without respecting them, because you don’t feel secure enough to do so with someone whose opinion doesn’t count. So, while it might not seem like a big deal when he tells you about how his dad made him feel insignificant, know that it’s a sure sign of emotional respect.

5. He encourages you to succeed

Having respect for someone makes you feel like you’d do anything to help them succeed. You admire the traits that make them who they are, you like feeling proud of them and you want to encourage them towards further successes. This is even more prominent at the beginning of a relationship when those very things are what attracts you to someone in the first place.

If your guy often throws cold water on your enthusiasm, isn’t interested in encouraging or discussing your goals or, worse, sabotages efforts to improve yourself, he isn’t displaying respect. More than likely, he’s jealous and trying to keep you from spreading your wings, so you’ll fit better into his own plans. That’s your cue to fly away.

6. He’s honest about relationship expectations

Whether you’ve only had five dates or you’re about to hit the year mark, a man who respects you will openly discuss your relationship. Sometimes though, this might mean he’s honest about the fact that he doesn’t want anything serious right now.

However, as long as he’s putting that on the table, you’ll know he respects you. He’s not interested in deceiving you about his feelings, just to keep you hanging in there for his own pleasure. In that case, it’s entirely up to you to stay, or go, if his ideas don’t match your own.

He won’t be scared of discussing where you stand in terms of exclusivity, regular weekend plans or when to meet each other’s parents, either. No matter what comes of the discussions, a guy who respects you will offer honest, open opinions, to the best of his ability.

7. He wants you to be involved in each other’s lives

If you’ve been seeing a guy for a while and you spend a bit of time together, it makes sense that eventually you’ll meet each other’s friends, family or workmates. When he respects you, he’ll want to check out all the different aspects of your life and find out what makes you tick.

He’ll also want you to join his, by taking you to work functions, hanging out with his mates or watching him play soccer on the weekend. On the other hand, if you’re mainly in the dark about a guy’s life, like you don’t know the names of any of his friends or he’s secretive about what he does during the week, be wary of the fact that he might not think you’re worth the investment – which is disrespectful, to say the least.

8. He’s always interested in your pleasure – in and out of bed

If a guy is, for example, only interested in sex and doesn’t respect you at all, he’s going to behave selfishly most of the time. This extends to the bedroom, where he’ll probably be less concerned with rocking your socks off and more focused on getting his rocks off.

A guy who respects you will pretty much put you first, most of the time. He’ll make sure you like the restaurant he’s chosen, give you his jacket when it’s cold, try to make you laugh and be considerate of your feelings. In bed, it’ll be his utmost pleasure to take you to the finish line, over and over again. Always remember, that you deserve no less.

9. He doesn’t get jealous

Jealousy is a bit confusing, because feeling the effects of the green-eyed monster, in a small way, isn’t necessarily a bad sign. After all, if another man hits on you and your guy feels a bit jealous, he’s also reminded of your value and how lucky he is to have you, so he kind of likes it at the same time.

However, there’s a big difference between this and a man who wants to know where you are all the time, goes through your phone or has a fit every time you go out without him. These types of actions scream disrespect because he clearly doesn’t trust you or value your privacy.

10. He’s your number one fan

Think about someone in your life who you really respect. Maybe it’s your mum, a former teacher or your best friend. When you respect someone, you really are their number one fan and want to see them happy, healthy and confident in life. A guy who respects you will be in your corner, as your number one fan, in just the same way.

He won’t criticize you, try to make you feel bad about your decisions or talk you out of dying your hair black because he likes blondes better. He’ll see beyond all that to the real you and won’t selfishly try to bend you to his own desires. He’ll understand and value what he’s found in you, whether it’s a casual romance or a long-term relationship.

And that’s the sort of treatment you truly deserve.

So if you want to learn how get a guy to like you and eventually fall in love with you, here are 12 ways to use psychology to your advantage.

1. Make sure you’re the kind of woman he’s looking for.

We all have a list (even if it’s not written down) of the qualities we want in a partner. They may be superficial such as the color of their hair, or they may be set in stone such as a love of animals. Obviously, there are some things on a list of must-haves that are negotiable.

Make sure that you meet the criteria of what your potential mate wants by doing a little research and learning about their interests and background.

2. Find out what’s missing in his life and then fill it.

People who are searching for partners generally look for similarities, but what they may not realize is that they also need someone with strengths that they don’t have, providing a balance. If your girl or guy is insecure and lacking on self-confidence, show them how confident and self-assured you are. They’ll be subconsciously attracted to you because you’re an example of how they’d like to be.

3. Be mysterious.

Don’t tell the object of your affection every single thing about yourself on the first date. Give them small pieces of information so they’ll keep wanting more. Everybody loves a good mystery and if you don’t reveal all, it will keep your guy intrigued.

4. Make yourself available… but only up to a point.

The more positive interactions they have with you, the more they’re going to want to spend time with you. But people don’t want what they can have too easily, so it’s good to be unavailable sometimes. Distance yourself without appearing too aloof and uninterested. You want to show them that you’re amazing and have a full life.

5. Don’t make it seem like you’re trying too hard.

If you come off as desperate, you’re going to scare your potential partner away, and if you’re too persistent you can come off as too needy and obsessive. It’s OK to show that you’re interested but not that it’s all you think about. Play it cool.

6. Have mutual friends.

If you share friends with the person that you’re in love with, it will not only give you all kinds of things to talk about but it will subconsciously let him know he can trust you. We’re wired to trust those that others can vouch for and this is one of the reasons so many people meet the love of their lives through mutual friends.

7. Mirror his actions.

This seems a little creepy to me but it has been used for years with some success. Mirroring is about connecting with your partner by staying in step with their actions. If they take a sip of their drink, you take a sip of your drink; if they lean in when telling a fascinating story, you lean in, too.

When you copy someone’s body movements it will lead them to believe that the two of you are in sync and they won’t be able to resist feeling attracted to you.

8. Repeat things without being boring.

If during a conversation you mention something that seems to captivate his interest, make it a regular topic of conversation. This continual conversation will stick in the subconscious part of their mind and will be another way for them to associate you with someone who’s intelligent and a great conversationalist.

9. Do things that allow for people to think of you as a positive person.

When people hear your name do they think of you as a fun and happy person, or do they associate you with someone who is extremely negative and unpleasant? We all know that each of us has some negative attributes but that shouldn’t be your overall image.

The person you want to fall in love with you is bound to ask around about you. You want people to let them know that you’re fun, adventurous, honest, and trustworthy. Do volunteer work or pay for the person behind you in Starbucks.

10. Let them know you love kids, animals, or both.

When we think of what kind of person we’d like to be in a long-term relationship with, we all want someone who is nurturing and loving. By showing them that you care for others, especially pets and children, you’ll be seen as a suitable partner.

11. Use priming.

Yale psychologist John Bargh studied priming and found that attraction is linked to temperatures. In one study, participants were told to hold hot and cold beverages while judging a group of people. Those holding warm beverages judged the people as having warm personalities, while those who were holding cold drinks saw the people as having harsh and cold personalities.

Conclusions: skip the shakes and go out for hot chocolate or coffee when you’re trying to make a good impression.

12. Be the lady in red.

This trick has been around for a while but continues to get results. Studies have found that men are more attracted to women wearing red than any other color.

Go ahead and give these suggestions a try. They might not work, or they may surprise you and get you closer to the one you love.

If you’re focused on how to make a guy fall in love with you (enough to get married!), here’s a list of what you don’t want to do, for your own sake:

1. Don’t be too impulsive when looking to getting married.

You don’t want to just dismiss somebody immediately just because the first thing he says is, “I know I’m not ready to get married.”

Just because a guy doesn’t see himself as wanting to get married soon doesn’t mean he can’t change his mind.

Give guys some time to get to know you before you expect them to express all their true feelings.

Just because someone says “no” on a first date, doesn’t mean he won’t ever want to get married.

2. Don’t pretend to be somebody you’re not.

Don’t act all nonchalant and like you’re above getting married. Some people try to act the exact opposite of what they feel to appear hip.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to get married, and there’s nothing wrong with expressing it to somebody.

If a guy isn’t comfortable with you wanting to be married one day because he feels it’s too much pressure, you might want to use that knowledge to look at your relationship and how much effort you put into it.

3. Don’t care solely about getting married.

Don’t let marriage be the only thing you care about in life.

If you’re obsessed with weddings and marriage, there’s a slight possibility that it might turn people off because it might appear that that’s all you’re banking your life on.

It’s totally fine for marriage to be your highest priority, but it can’t be the only thing that’s important to you.

If you’re centered on any one thing, it’s going to make you unbalanced. That one-point mindset might make people question why you don’t have other things in your life that are equally important, like your family, friends, and career.

Don’t be a one-dimensional person; keep your interests alive in all different areas of your life.

4. Don’t wait around for the right guy

If you’re sitting at home and wondering why nobody’s asking you to marry them, but you haven’t dated in three years, well… you’ve got a problem. Get yourself out there.

You can’t hole yourself up and think you’re going to meet a guy. Push yourself to meet new people: join clubs, go to meetups, or try a new activity.

You never know where you’re going to meet him.

There’s no reason why you can’t meet your future spouse at a local pub, church or store.

5. Don’t discount your true feelings.

Don’t lie to yourself or discount what you feel deeply just to impress someone else. It’s OK after a couple of dates to ask a guy if he sees himself getting married.

You shouldn’t ever feel like you have to lie to make yourself seem more attractive.

Pretending to not want to get married will only lead to problems. Be honest with yourself and him.

There’s nothing wrong with admitting you think about marriage; that doesn’t have to mean you expect to get married tomorrow.

If a guy is right for you, he’ll appreciate your honesty.

6. Don’t act helpless on your own.

Don’t paint a picture of yourself as weak or as a damsel in distress in hopes of a guy wanting to be your knight in shining armor.

You most likely don’t want a man to come in and take care of everything for you.

And if you do think that’s what you want, maybe consider the sacrifices you may need to make to allow a relationship like that to work.

7. Don’t stay with a guy you know isn’t right.

You don’t want to put up with something unacceptable, regardless of what it is, that you know would make it difficult to have a long-term relationship with him.

If you know you want to get married and you’re looking for the long-term, and you’re with a guy you absolutely can’t see yourself getting married to, why would you stay?

He’s only holding you back from finding the right guy that you can spend the rest of your life with.

Even if he’s cute, even if he’s sweet and lovely, or macho and strong (whatever your type is), if he isn’t someone you can see yourself wanting to spend your life with, then why would you stay?

8. Don’t tackle other women at a wedding to catch the bouquet.

Yeah… you don’t want to look so overeager that you’re going to wrestle someone’s Aunt Lois to catch the bouquet.

If you do happen to snag it, then kudos to you. But just like anything in life, you can’t force something to happen — you have to let it happen naturally.

9. Don’t make him more important than you are.

You might think that the way to a man’s heart is by spending all of your waking time with him and dropping your friends and family for him.

You need to have a life of your own, just as he does.

Maintain or develop healthy self-confidence and a well-rounded life full of interests and relationships.

Spending time with other people will actually show that you’re a person who cares about others and keeps her life and priorities in perspective.

10. Don’t listen to other people.

I guess that would include not listening to me! Go with your gut; trust yourself.

It doesn’t matter if someone else doesn’t think you should be getting married; it’s really up to you.

Some people say you shouldn’t get married before a certain age and can give you twenty reasons why not. Life is all about learning to listen to yourself and trust what you find.

You can take other people’s advice into consideration, but it really is all about you and how you feel.

11. Don’t rush things.

Don’t put a timeline or deadline on a proposal. As much as you should be honest about wanting to get married, you shouldn’t wag your ring finger in his face and gush, “Oh, I wish I saw something sparkly here!” Or, “Hey, my birthday’s coming up! What a great time for you to buy me an engagement ring!”

Don’t leave wedding destination magazines around the house or start planning your honeymoon before you have even met his friends.

Too much pressure on him can be a good way to chase him away. Again, honesty is great! Creepiness… not so much.

12. Don’t be meek.

OK, seriously… if you want to be seen as marriage material, there’s nothing like proposing to him. Of course, you have to ask yourself if he is marriage material.

Wouldn’t it be fun to do the old switcheroo and ask him to marry you? It’ll give you something to talk about to your kids one day and hey, if you record it, your video just may go viral (you’re welcome!).

All these items equal up to what it means to be a strong, confident woman who knows what she wants and is willing to take control of her own life and desires.

If you’re with somebody you love and you want them to know that you would like to be married one day, the simplest thing to do is (once you know them and love them and trust them) to tell them exactly what you dream of for your life.

*This is a true Nigerian story of hope, honesty and unity, VP says

The coming together of communities in Hadari Emirate district in Kokona LGA of Nasarawa State to form a farming settlement for the production of livestock and crop products, under the auspices of the Nigerian Farmers Group and Cooperative Society (NFGCS), is a true Nigerian story of honesty, hard work and cooperation regardless of ethnic differences and social background, according to Vice President Yemi Osinbajo, SAN.

The Vice President, accompanied by the State Governor, Engr. Abdullahi Sule, stated this on Thursday during a visit to the NFGCS Farms Centre located in Gaa’te village, Kokona LGA, Nasarawa State.

According to Prof. Osinbajo, “just going around today, I have seen a lot of hope that indeed this country can work and work very well again.

“If the people of this community can do all of what we are seeing here today, growing rice, other grains and also selling the products, I am very sure they will soon start exporting it; I think this is how it should really be.”

The NFGCS farm, which was founded by an ex-Niger Delta militant, Mr. Reston Tedheke, started with three hectares and N1.5m in 2017, now occupies 3,000 hectares and is worth about a billion naira, with over 300 people employed. Tedheke was inspired by the Buhari administration’s focus on Agricultural diversification of the Nigerian economy. The components of the farm include a ranch, crop farm, poultry and a rice mill, amongst others.

“You can see that Mr. Retson Tedheke left Delta State with his family to live here, and they can feel safe here and enjoy everything that the indigenes of this State enjoy. In fact, he tells me he is now officially an indigene of the State; this is the story of a great nation,” the Vice President noted.

Continuing, Prof. Osinbajo stated that what the youth in Kokona LGA are doing is the real revolution that Nigeria requires.

He said: “I think what we are seeing here today is the revolution that we have been talking about, the real revolution; of ideas, the revolution of technology, the revolution of young Nigerians who are determined to ensure that in this country, they make money (legitimately); and they can produce what they eat. This is the story of great nations.

“Every nation that has been great, nations that have been economically successful, have done so on the back of their young men and women who are determined to make an honest living, who are determined to become entrepreneurs.”

Speaking about the resilience of the Nigeria Farmers Group and Cooperative Society and their promoters, the Vice President urged other youth groups to emulate their doggedness to succeed even under what sometimes could be difficult conditions.

According to him, “I was also quite fascinated by the way that they have been able to get credit. Just like he (Tedheke) pointed out, the banks had not been too willing to lend to farming start-ups.

“Small agricultural enterprises don’t necessarily attract the best credits from our banks. But I have been told that “Kiakia”, a FinTech company, also a mobile payment company that also gives credit to farming communities, has supported this project.”

On his part, Governor Sule commended the efforts of Tedheke for the courage to invest in a community different from his own.

He said the investment in the agricultural project was not by accident, noting that the State government under his watch is putting in place policies that would attract investments to the state, especially in areas where it has comparative advantage.

He also commended the traditional council of Kokona Local Government Area for their support and efforts in ensuring peaceful co-existence amongst the different ethnic groups in the area.

Earlier in his remark, the coordinator of the NFGCS Farms Centre, Mr. Tedheke, thanked the Vice President for personally visiting the farm, and the Nasarawa State Governor, for the support in actualizing the dream of building the farm.

He, however, appealed for more support from the State and Federal Government in the areas of infrastructure, especially road and power.

The NFGCS is an organization established in 2017 under a partnership with farming communities in Hadari Emirate District in the Kokona LGA, especially in Gaa’te, Marke, Mante, and Sabon Gida villages.

By Joseph ETTA in Calabar

A Pastor’s wife, Mrs Mary Theo Effiong, held captive for 14days in a kidnappers Den has been released.

The wife of the senior pastor of the Assemblies of God church, Akim branch was let off the hook last Thursday from her hostage and no ransom was reportedly paid.

It would be recalled that Daybreak while reporting the incidence when it happened 2 weeks ago quoted Pastor Theo Effiong saying; “I will not pay a Kobo to the evil men”, adding “if I pay the ransom then I don’t know the God I served. The kidnappers had asked for a ransom sum of N30 million according to sources.

However, by yesterday Wednesday, worshippers at the Prayer City, Calabar went wild in praise and Jubilation, the escapee stepped into the Hall where special prayer and Thanksgiving were been offered for her release and Divine intervention.

The whole atmosphere changed totally to that of celebration.

Daybreak learnt that throughout the 14 days of her captivity in the kidnapper’s den, prayers were offered in all Assemblies of God churches in Cross River State and equally at the prayer City Calabar, where the husband is a co-founder. Prayer City is a non-denominational Prayer house in Calabar.

A highly dependable source told Daybreak that Pastor Theo Effiong, the Husband being a man of prayer was on his kneels at his personal Altar at home praying and was not sighted outside throughout the 14 days of his wife’s travails.

An excited Theo Effiong beaming with smiles on the two side of his mouth told Daybreak in a chat that, we prayed, God honoured His Name and answered us as a proof to His faithfulness, I return all Glory to him.

The escapee, Pst. Mary Theo Effiong, who was full of Joy and Excitement written all her face said; “I am very grateful to God, He used me well to preached and converted the Kidnappers soul to Christ; you know God works in mysterious ways, it could be that He allowed me to be kidnapped for the purpose of souls”. She added.

To the glory of God, 3 days after their conversion when others see my new converts always coming to her for prayers and to hear the word, they said “this woman is a bad market” in pidgin English they said “make una let am go oh, we no want trouble here, since she came, that place too de hot, fire everywhere”, that is what transpired in a conversation among the kidnappers, she narrated, the place became too hot apparently because of the potency of prayers and she was let off the hook.

“To show that God’s hand is in it, unexpectedly and surprisingly they drove me majestically and gloriously to my home where they picked me. Good is faithful, I return all glory to Him”. she added.

From Dauda R Pam Maiduguri

Member representing Kaga, Magumeri and Gubio federal constituency, Hon. Usman Zanna, has said that Boko Haram Terrorists are still very strong and holding territories in some Local Government Areas of Borno State.

The federal law member,disclosed this to the House Committee on Internally Displaced Persons (IDPs) and Refugees, stressing that the boko Haram insurgents had sacked residents of most communities in all the three local government areas in his constituency.

Hon Usman Wanna,spoke at the inaugural meeting of the House committee on IDPs said, ” in the past one month, the Boko Haram insurgents have attacked these LGAs at least four to five times”,and pleaded with the House Committee Chairman, Hon. Mohammed Umar Jega, and all members to take the committee’s mandate seriously, arguing that as a result of Boko Haram attacks and occupation of communities in his constituency, “my people have fled into Niger and Chad, leaving the places empty”.

In his speech earlier, the House Committee Chairman, Hon Jega solicited for the cooperation of the members, pointing out that, the work of the committee was humanitarian and must be done with the required compassion.

“Members should put in their best and take the committee as their own because it has to do with humanitarian issues bordering on IDPs, homeless persons, stateless persons, migrants and refugees,” the chairman said.
Ends.