Category: Featured

I know it might seem a little bit difficult to learn how to stop expecting too much from people, but it’s actually not that hard to understand and accept that. Human relationships are often extremely complex and that’s why unrealistic expectations regarding other people’s behavior can cause you disappointment, frustration, resentment or even anger. In order to avoid all that, it’s much easier to just learn how to stop expecting too much from people, so you will be able to rethink your attitude towards others and live a happier, healthier and more fulfilled life. Here is what you should know:

1. REALIZE THAT NOBODY’S PERFECT

The first step you should take if you want to learn how to stop expecting too much from people is to simply realize and accept the fact that nobody’s perfect and that everyone makes mistakes every now and then. You’re not perfect either, so why would you expect that from somebody else? No one can fulfill everyone’s expectations, no matter how hard they try to do it. One simply can’t please everybody, so try to accept that and just move on!

2. LET GO OF UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS

Learn to recognize those unrealistic expectations you might have in regard to other people’s behavior and let them go! This type of thinking is not good for your health either, because studies show that “people who harbor unrealistic expectations are especially prone to anxiety, depression and unhappiness.” Try to be more realistic sometimes, because this will increase your overall psychological health, thus you will feel happier.

3. RECOGNIZE THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN EXPECTATIONS AND DEPENDENCE

Try not to mix expectations with dependence, because these two concepts are in fact very different from one another. If you depend too much on one person, you’ll risk getting your feelings hurt. Never make your happiness other people’s responsibility! Sometimes it’s good to expect certain things, because you will fell more motivated to reach your goals. Just be careful not to cross that thin line between expectations and dependence, because by doing it, you won’t be making the right choice.

4. RETHINK CHILDHOOD EXPECTATIONS

If you pay very close attention, you’ll notice that most of your childhood expectations are in fact unrealistic. We all dream about having the perfect job when we grow up, the perfect family or the perfect life. Well, things don’t always turn out this way and usually, we have to face a lot of obstacles along the way in order to accomplish our dreams. Studies show that children with parents who always expected them to be perfect often lack in self-confidence in their early adulthood. If you are one of them, try to discover if you learned this habit in your childhood and try to correct it, so you’ll be able to really enjoy the beautiful things in life and not worry about pleasing everybody else.

5. LEARN TO EXPECT NOTHING IN RETURN

When you are doing something nice for someone, do it for yourself and try not to expect something in return! This way, you won’t get disappointed and you won’t get your feelings hurt. Be nice because you want to be nice, because you feel this way and not because you have to! Once you acknowledge and accept that, you will feel more relaxed and you’ll be able to focus on your own happiness and on fulfilling your dreams.

6. DON’T EXPECT PEOPLE TO READ YOUR MIND

Never expect anyone to know how you are feeling if you haven’t told them that. People can’t read minds and even if you think that they should know you well enough to be able to decipher your behavior, I must tell you that you are wrong. People’s emotional landscapes are entirely different from your own, so don’t held them accountable for something they didn’t do!

7. ASK FOR ADVICE

If you think that all those unrealistic expectations you had, caused you a lot of problems lately, go and talk to one of your loved ones and simply ask for their advice. Learn from their experience and discover new ways to deal with the problems you are facing. That advice might mean more to you just because it comes from someone whom you love and trust, and might help you feel better in no time. Don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for help when you need it, because the sooner you do it, the better you will feel.

8. HELP OTHERS

Another best way to stop expecting too much from other people is by focusing your efforts towards helping others without expecting anything in return. Volunteer or simply do a good deed every day! Help others because you want to make them happy and you will also feel happier doing it. I love what Albert Ellis, this very famous psychotherapist, once said: “Where is it written that others must act the way we want them to? It may be preferable, but not necessary.”

9. TRY TO BE MORE REALISTIC

Idries Shah once said that “If, from time to time, you give up expectation, you will be able to perceive what it is you are getting,” and he couldn’t be more right! Learn how to be more realistic and think about the negative traits people might have. Nobody’s perfect, so don’t focus only on the positive traits of their character. Be realistic and accept the fact that people might hurt you sometimes, but they might not do it intentionally.

Sometimes, it can be quite hard not to have certain unrealistic expectations, because we simply go with the flow and we end up getting hurt. It’s not impossible to learn how to stop expecting too much from people, you just need to put a little effort into it and have a little patience because not all good things happen over night. Can you give me a hand and tell us what other things we can do in order to protect ourselves from getting hurt by always expecting too much from others? Please share your advice with us in the comments section!

Source: allwomenstalk.com

By Joseph ETTA in Calabar

An APC stalwart, Barr. Efa Edem has given Kudos to president Muhamadu Buhari over the official approval for the Bakassi Deep Seaport.

It will be recalled that the Federal Government last Monday issued Outline Business Case Certificate (OBC) for the Bakassi Deep Seaport project being undertaken by the Cross River State Government.

Speaking to Daybreak in Calabar yesterday, the APC chieftain describe it a good development where if judiciously completed would stimulate the economy of the state and equally attract investors to the state.

When asked if he is sure the project will be completed in recorded time, he noted that it’s Government developmental project and government is a continuous process, if he cannot finish it in the life time of his administration, the next administration will equally finish it. The project is a government project and not Ayade as individual.

Efa, who was a former strong grass root canvasser and supporter of PDP, before defecting to APC, when asked by Daybreak of the possibilities of the state raising such a huge resources to finance the project, he observed that Cross River State alone cannot do it, its National/Federal project that would be of immense economic benefit to the state and Nigeria in general. So “we in the state pleads with the Federal government for support.”

Meanwhile, Governor Ben Ayade has stated that the Bakassi Deep Seaport initiated by his administration would be of immense economic benefit of the state and Nigeria in general. Ayade said that the super highway would provide a link between the North and Bakassi Deep Seaport and boost transportation of farm produce.

According to the initiator of the project Prof. Ben Ayade, the Bakassi Deep Seaport is the only port in Nigeria that has an evacuation corridor, “that you have a port in Bakassi with six lanes super highway linking you directly to Northern Nigeria.” So what Cross River id trying to do is to take the Atlantic Ocean closer to Northern part of Nigeria particularly the North East and North West cannot see the desired prosperity unless they gain access to the seaport.

When actual construction would commence at the seaport, Ayade said; work stated there more than six months ago when we got the EIA approval at which allowed us the legal right to get access to the ocean. But right now, with this UBA certificate, we are going to be dealing directly with the concessionaires toward arriving at the specific location, data and commencement of actual work plans. But that can only be done with the FBS.

However, Barr. Efa a strong party stalwart of the ruling APC, when asked why he is supporting the Governor and happy with him over this project starting, “at the Federal level, I am sympathetic with Buhari, but at the state level, “I sympathize with the governor.”

By Joseph ETTA in Calabar

Disgruntlement, disenchantment and general apology among party members formed part of the reason Governor Ben Ayade called for stakeholders meeting across the state.

There has been complaints of total neglects of party members by Governor Ben Ayade which has caused a crack in the rank and files of party leadership and followership in the state.

Cross River State is a PDP controlled state and the party over 16 years in Government has enjoyed maximum support from the people. But recently, reports reaching Daybreak revealed that the foot soldiers who won the election for him felt cheated, neglected and abandoned.

In view of the above, Governor Ben Ayade yesterday began the first leg of consultation and meeting with the party stakeholders, starting from Obaniku Local Government Area from the Northern part of the State.

Obaniku sets the ball rolling in the exercise that will last for a month, starting from the Northern part of the state to Central and Southern part of the state.

The stakeholders expected for the meeting in each Local Government Areas including serving and past members of National Assembly who are still members of the party, all serving and past members of the state House of Assembly who are currently in the party, all present and past members of the National working committee of the party who are still in the party, and all present and past members of the Zone working committee who are still in the party. Other invitees are all present and past members of the state working committee who are still in the party, all present and former political appointees, all chapter former Local Government Council Chairmen and Vice Chairmen who are still in the party, as well as all former Councilors still in PDP, all Local Government cordinators in the recently concluded election, all ward/polling unit cordinators, and all party polling agents in the last concluded election.

Information that filtered to Daybreak disclosed that one of the issues in the burning furnace is the conduct of LGA election in the state.

This very sensitive issue may tear the party apart.

Cross River State is one of the states yet to conduct Local Government election.

Attachments area

When you’re feeling depressed, you have to train your mind to think positively. You should think about the good things that you have and all of the grand things that are bound to happen. When you’re feeling depressed, you need to try to pull yourself out of it. If you don’t, then you’ll be stuck in your sadness forever. In order to start feeling better, be thankful for all of the following things that your life contains.

1. MUSIC

No matter what, your favorite singer is always going to be there for you. Every day when you wake up, you can look forward to listening to your favorite song. The tune is perfect and the lyrics describe your exact situation. There’s nothing in the world that can calm you down more. One of the things to live for when you’re feeling depressed is that one song that makes you feel like you’re not alone in the world.

2. LAUGHTER

Even if you’re too upset to be around friends, you can still find opportunities to laugh. Go online and watch your favorite YouTube videos. The Internet has everything imaginable, so there’s plenty to choose from. You can watch comedians or old cartoons that you loved when you were a child. Whatever makes you happy is worth your time.

3. AFFECTION

You might currently feel like you’re alone, but you should look forward to the moments when you receive genuine affection. Whether it’s a hug from your parents or a kiss from your crush, you’ll feel overwhelmed with happiness. Even playing with a dog and having him snuggle up on your lap will make you smile. Know that you’re going to have plenty of moments in the future that will make you feel special.

4. NEW EXPERIENCES

There are plenty of things in life that you’d love to do. Maybe it’s skydiving or maybe it’s going to the Broadway show that you keep hearing about. Whatever your preference is, you can spend your time looking forward to it. One day, you’ll make your dreams happen. In the mean time, your daydreams can be just as exciting as the actual experience.

5. FRESH FEELINGS

You’re feeling depressed now, but the future holds dozens of different feelings that you haven’t experienced yet. You’ll meet new people that give you more happiness than you ever thought imaginable. They’ll make you forget all about the people who have hurt you in the past. The fact that you’re sad now will only make your future happiness that much greater. You’ll know what it’s like to be upset, so you’ll be thankful for the joy.

6. TV SHOWS

Don’t be ashamed of your obsession with a TV show. When you’re having a bad day, it’s a good idea to have something to look forward to. TV shows are the perfect solution, since they’re on every week. If you’re feeling sad, you only have to wait a few days or hours to see a new episode. Everyone needs something to keep them going, even if it’s a character on a show.

7. NATURE

You can step outside whenever you want and admire the beauty of the world. Nature belongs to all of us. We can admire it whenever we please. Just like humans, nature can be as destructive as it is beautiful. We all have a connection to nature that allows it to help relax us. If you’re fed up with the people in your life, it’s okay to shut them out for a bit while you let nature in.

8. BOOKS

Think of all the books out there that you haven’t read! If you’re a book worm, you’ll understand that there are just some books that are calling out to you to be read. What about all of those classics that you’ve never read? What about that new book your favorite author is coming out with? These are things you need to read. These things should help get your excited and maybe you’ll start reading, get sucked in, and start feeling happy again.

9. FRIENDS OR FAMILY

Of course this isn’t always the best option because sometimes they’re the reason you’re feeling down in the first place, but if there’s someone that you can depend on to call – call them. You don’t even have to tell this person that you’re feeling depressed, just call them and try to distract yourself as best as you can. It’s a great way to keep your mind off of things and maybe they’ll even cheer you up.

10. YOUR PET

Cuddle with your pet! Seriously, when you’re feeling down and you feel like you don’t want to be around people be around your pet instead. What’s awesome about animals is that they just love you unconditionally. Sometimes people are not helpful to your situation when you’re depressed, but you can just lay down and cuddle with your pet and you’ll definitely start to feel better.

11. EXERCISE

Sometimes exercise can really help you shake the feeling you’re having. Exercise could be doing yoga, going to the gym, dancing, or anything else that gets your body moving. Making sure you get up and get moving is really important to get you distracted and sometimes you just need to sweat a little and get yourself doing something other than sitting around feeling down.

When you’re upset, try to keep your mind on positive things. It’s dangerous to be stuck focusing on the negative. What are you looking forward to the most in life?