Ewa’s Thought in Words

THE CONSTANT ACHE CALLED LIFE. . .

There were times when living was so unsure..
When life was so bleak,when doubts ruled both day and night.
There were times when the thought of sleeping and rising seemed totally impossible.

The nagging sound of aches grinds me, as I lie tired on the bed, hoping for the rise of a new dawn. A new breath, a new breeze and apprentently new health to contain my hope and propel my will.
The night is the bridge between the thoughts of wellness and an escalated version of the worst of the pains that trolls my body..

My mind fails me each contending moment when my life seems to be on the balance. . . Here am I staring hard into the space of empty thoughts, emotionless and blank. I smile at the intricacies of life even when the smile itself makes no sense in the face of all the evils life keeps bringing forth.

The vulnerability of my soul speaks volume, the loudness of the unguarded bile drops constant in my throat.. a feeling no one but I can ever understand. Though we try to share most times in matters of others’ discomfort wishing and even striving to enliven the travails of such individuals, but life is what it is, the realities of life are unshakable as unthinkable. Surely, we all weary at some point, the twist and turns that accompany the constant aches as my heart pines in fretful tear of fear that out weighs the shock of the unexpected dearth of fortunes life largely does not hold.

Energised in contemplation, accepting strife as life long realities no amount of wishing away can push away, dealing harshly with the unplanned and unpleasant the only way forward.

Slowly, I drift in and out of this unabating aches not only my body but my mind experiences. Peace becomes an opium so desirable yet the needles of emotional insanity barely give way for the relief my body earnestly seeks.

The torments that inhabit my bones as my ligament entrap the soreness that flows freely in my muscles and cells.
Hmmm… what a constant ache called life.