BE CAREFUL THE POWER YOU GIVE. . .
The sacredness of the human person is a mystery so great and mighty, therefore, no human person should allow themselves to be ripped or stripped of their dignity in any relationship, no matter the situation.
The dignity of any human being lies in their mind. Take that away and they become a shadow of themselves. Even more, they lose their self-worth and the confidence of being human and even being alive. The consequences could go from depression to death.
Like the human person, every human society thrives amidst its different issues and situations. . .sometimes relative and other times universal. But one thing that has remained a constant theme no matter where in the world, is the human life and the violation of the human being or their dignity as a human person. It is humanly, morally, socially, fundamentally and even religiously unacceptable. However, almost every society is infested with some toxic and abusive individuals all round, especially in marriages and other relationships.
Over the years, some men and women have lost their essence to toxic and abusive relationships, what sincerely baffles me, is how far these individuals are willing sometimes to go because of what the society, culture and even religion might say or not say, but that same society remains, when they are eventually killed or maimed. Today, the whole media space is saturated with different kinds of opinions on what should or shouldn’t have been done while yet another victim of such ungodly practices of abusive and toxic relationship lies frozen in the mortuary waiting for the same society that watched them tortured and abused to come and bury them hmmm… what an irony!
The death of the popular gospel singer Mrs. Osinachi Nwachuwku has sparked a wave of reactions and absolute and outright condemnations in the direction of abusive partners and their victims as well. It is so sad how any human person, man or woman should give in to violence no matter who is involved. My daughter once said to me, the power anyone has over you is the one you have given them. Do not give anyone so much power that they determine when you live or die!
Abusive relationships are unhealthy relationships that most times ends only in the death of the abused while the abuser walks often free, especially, when the victim has probably, out of shame and constant threat to life may never have mentioned to anyone their ordeal. . The annoying thing is that most victims of these kinds of situations do not have the will power to get up and leave their marriage or whatever type of relationship that might be, bearing in mind how our culture, religion and the society at large frowns at divorce and other related matters. . They spend the time they do not have in seeking the validation of those they view as stakeholders in their lives or family. These indiviuals can sometimes be close family members or friends, hoping to borrow from them the courage to enable them stand up for their life or escape from such doomed partnerships. Unfortunately, most of the time, it is even the people they confide in that take away their chance to life and freedom because they blackmail them using sentiments like; “you know there are children involved in this union. If you leave, they will suffer, they will this, they will that…” But at the end, those children will still be alive while their mother or father continues to suffer voicelessly onto death.
As a human person, you should be able to know when it’s enough to walk away, you should know when it’s time to choose life over whatever is at stake. As it is popularly said, only he or she who wears the shoe knows where it pinches. If you fear what people might think or say about you as an individual, then you will live a very sad, miserable and unfulfilled life. No one needs anyone’s validation to take their chance with life.
Our society is filled with these kind of toxic individuals not only because they grew up in such toxic environments or relationships but because their formative years have been dominated with scenes of these kinds of situations. Remember, the family is one agent of socialisation and as the core on the top of this list, it has the unreserved power to influence the child’s formative years conveniently.
The big question now is: “as a person or an individual faced with this kind of unhealthy relationships, what should you do?” My next question goes to immediate family members of the victim (that’s if the person is not an orphan or someone within that neighbourhood of no existing family relations) “what should they do?” And as a friend or friends of such an individual, “what will you do as well?” Lastly, as the church or those religious platforms upon which such marriages or relationships came into existence, “what will you do?”
It’s true that marriage is not a bed of roses as it is often said, but anything beyond the usual struggles of making good and healthy companionship, winning bread, making bread, taking care of the home, rearing children, complimenting each other and so on, no one whether man or woman should endure abusive marriage or relationships because you will never know the day death might turn up in such unspeakable episodes.
Our life is our responsibility, being alive even a much bigger responsibility. Do not keep quiet while your neighbour, friend or relative suffers the evils of an abusive relationship. . . Remember it is said “evil only triumphs when good people do nothing”.
