You Date The Wrong Guy
The wrong man for you, is a man who doesn’t want what you want at the same time that you want it.
This is basic incompatibility but it’s not a bad thing. The nicest, sweetest, man in the world could swoop you up, and take you on elaborate dates that would rival The Bachelor, but if you want a relationship and he doesn’t then he is the wrong guy. If you want kids and he doesn’t, then he is the wrong guy. If you want monogamy and he doesn’t, then he is the wrong guy for you. This doesn’t make him, or you, a bad person. This just means that you haven’t found the right person for you.
The wrong guy is the guy who isn’t willing to give you what you want, whether he is capable, or not. If you don’t date the right guys, you will never be in the relationship that you have always dreamed of.
You Stay Too Long
Sometimes you find a great guy, who seems right for you but only time will tell. If you find yourself wishing that the man in your life could be someone else, you have stayed in that situation too long.
How long is too long in a relationship, or situationship? If you are single, meaning no man is claiming you as his girlfriend then too long is three months. Depending on what your gut is telling you, it could be as quickly as three dates. Once you have determined that you are dating someone who is unwilling to give you what you want, get out.
If you see any red flags, get out.
Too often women want to give things a chance instead of following their intuition. If you aren’t the happiest you’ve ever been, and you can’t communicate what would make you happy with the man that you’re dating, then you are staying way too long.
You Make Excuses
Without your excuses, where would that leave the relationship?
Women do a great job at reasoning. There is always a good reasons things aren’t the way they same. But facts are facts. If you took the facts as they are, would this be the guy you’d want to take home to your family? Would this be the guy who could father your children?
Don’t make excuses that allow behaviors or situations that don’t match your standards. When you are dating, and ready for a relationship, excuses get in the way. Excuses fill in the gap where there should just be the facts.
You Don’t Ask Tough Questions
You can’t make the right decisions without having all of the information and the only way that to you determine if a guy is right for you, is if you have the facts. Don’t avoid tough questions that can shed light on who the man you are dating is. Don’t avoiding asking questions that are important to you, and what you want in the future.
Tough questions can tell you if you should move on with the person you’re dating. Avoiding them keep you dating the wrong men too long.
You Take Things Personally
There is nothing you have to prove when looking for love.
Often times, insecurity can take over and we tend to believe that someone else’s behavior is because we are not good enough. Most of what happens in dating can be chalked up to incompatibility. If someone lies to you, it is because of who they are. If someone doesn’t want to commit to you, it is because of who they are, and so on. Other people’s behaviors do not determine or define your value.
At the end of the day, if you internalize other people’s choices, and take their behavior personally you are letting them wither your self-esteem. When you take things personally, you are putting your emotions in someone else’s hands, and that is a dangerous place for them to be.
You Have Sex Too Soon
Don’t sleep with a man on the first date. This rule is as old and boring and sending ‘thank you’ notes after a job interview. It might seem antiquated but it does have merit. When you don’t physically before you bond emotionally, the relationship becomes trivialized. The reason being, all relationships happen in the mind. The bond you have is created by the memories you share.
While having sex, can be a great memory, chances are the guy that you are dating has had sex before. This isn’t a new memory.
The key to getting into a relationship is creating new memories that will live on in the mind when you are not around. The longer you can wait to have sex, the easier it is to use that time to create valuable bonding memories. You also allow for fantasies, which are even better and more useful for bonding. A fantasy is a visualize which means something that is desired for the future. This gives your relationship longevity.
Better than memories, fantasies project what’s to come instead of reliving the past. If you have sex too soon, you kill the fantasy. And while everyone has a friend who has slept with a guy on the first date, and married him a year later, there are also lottery winners. It doesn’t mean it can’t happen, you just have to decide if you’ll be the lucky one it happens to.
