Being feared. . . .
A lot of people are so consumed by their desire to be feared that they lose their sense of duty, fairness as well as their humanity in the process. You really don’t have to turn a bully or an insensitive fellow to be feared, even if this is achieved at the end of the day, exactly how long would it last before the people rise up against you? Tyranny, dictationship has never lasted forever. The philosophy that when people fear you, they respect you is completely not true because every human person no matter how logical, is mostly ruled by their emotions and the most dangerous of all emotions is fear… Sometimes when you trigger fear in someone, you may be in for some terrible reaction, something you never saw coming. When some people come under fear, they become highly provocative, unstable, unpredictable, defensive and there is no telling how far they can go to tame or crush that which threatens them… It is just a natural instinct to want to feel safe and free.
Fear is one emotion that brings out the worst in human beings, even animals. On the contrary, a feeling of love and respect gives birth to submission and meekness. Every human person yearns to be treated nicely, even bad people hunger for love and great respect but how do we expect to achieve what we have not given? Today in our society, some parents have turned bullies in their homes where they are supposed to practice and examplify their leaderships skills and qualities. A child who grows up in such an environment should not be blamed for turning out a bully himself or a tyrant whether at school or in future leadership roles or responsibility whether as head of his family, organisation or the people’s representative in whatever capacity or position. The truth remains that he grew up to see that being an authoritarian is the way of life which he or she must uphold to the later. He or she grew up learning that they have to be feared than to be loved. In as much as we crave this evil power called fear, do we also know that there is a limit to which it can go?
It is true that most human beings take simplicity and niceness of others for granted. It is also true that we need to be tough and firm sometimes if we must drive our point home especially on something important for the growth and well-being of all, whether as parents or public leaders. The dynamics of leadership is a skill one must aquire through good timing and patience, knowing when to be close-gained and when to listen also to the people as well as consider their worries and genuine concerns. The concept of the use of force to implement selfish, unyeilding and nonprofitable plans or policies in order to perpetually subdue or engage people in a long lasting fear drive isn’t to anyone’s advantage especially not to the head or leader at the long run. When a parent has satisfactorily discharged his responsibilities to his family wholeheartedly without any form of prejudice or biases, without showing preference to some members of family over others, without also using fear as an instrument to hush the rest for being displeased on the account of injustices served, mental torture or depression they have to go through knowing that they have been cheated, treated as though they aren’t members of the same family or better still as outcasts then such a head or leader has the mental justification and capacity to apply the rule of law without fear or favour but not to use fear or terror as a means to paralyse or flatten the reaction which of course is due and much expected.
To be loved, respected or even feared is one of the many things we get to earn by honestly and sincerely working for them through conscious investment of time, affection, respect and trustworthiness. You will only harvest hate and rebellion when you insist on using force other than love in endearing those you lead or represent either as the head of the house or organisation. Always remember, being feared doesn’t necessarily make one the most powerful person. It only means one thing, that you are despicable and incapable of fair competition.
