They say marriage needs more than sheer affection to survive and once the couple in a marriage lack what it takes for an enduring marriage, such a marriage is sure to crash. Well, ingredients of a lasting and happy marriage is a discussion for another day.
So, here we have causes or reasons why marriages fail:
1. Unhappy sex life
Sex: This three-letter word can be one of the most difficult topics to address with honesty. An inability to find a happy medium between frequency, desire and preference, can each contribute to an unhappy sex life. From lesbian death bed to a hetero dry spell, couples of all genders and orientations can struggle with this one. Getting your intimate life back on track is one of the top 20 rules for a happy marriage.
2. The primary unit becomes secondary
When children or careers begin to take precedence over the marriage, cracks can start to form. You can’t wait until the kids are grown and your career starts to wind down to start nurturing your connection. If there’s one thing you can do every week to divorce-proof your marriage, it’s date night. As challenging as it can be, you need to strike a balance between your primary relationship and your other life commitments. An investment in your marriage is an investment in your entire family unit.
3. Most relationships fail
Unfortunately, not every relationship lasts and it can take courage for couples to call it quits. Over a lifetime, we’ll each experience the end of a relationship, such as with a university chum or close co-worker, and one of the most significant could be a marriage. However, the end of one relationship could signal the beginning of another, acting as a launching pad for new experiences. Many find that they achieve their most successful relationship later in life, possibly after a failed marriage.
4. Change happens
The only thing that is constant is change. When two people in one union come together, they will experience changes individually and as a couple. If a person evolves and the other partner doesn’t — this can lead to a split. Also, who we are attracted to as a 20-year-old may change by the time we’re 40 or 60.
5. Financially incompatible
Our values around money can be cultivated in our youth, directly affecting our outlook on finances. Depending on how your parents handled their savings can skew your view. If one person is a spender and the other is a saver, it can be difficult for one person to change their financial disposition and align these differences.
6. Life gets in the way
As we get older, life’s challenges and commitments become bigger. How we deal with these milestone stressors as a couple, from ailing parents, health issues and a career change, can help determine if a marriage survives or fails.
7. Lack of trust leads to communication breakdown
Communication is key — but establishing a safe and open environment for honest discussions to take place is a necessary base. If one partner isn’t comfortable talking about intimate subjects such as their emotional needs or sexual desires, then this void might be filled elsewhere. We all have needs, and working to satisfy them together is key.
8. Molehills become mountains
When issues — both big and small — are left unattended, this build up can lead to hostility. Keeping a tally on a partner’s errors, such as forgetting to unload the dishwasher or picking up the kids from gymnastics, can lead to resentment.
9. V is for victim
When both parties feel victimized, the following action can be one of indifference towards the marriage, resulting in both people doing anything they desire. One person may have this attitude before the other, but when one half feels like a victim, the other often follows suit.
This behaviour can hinder the relationship and may be interpreted as a sign you’re falling out of love.
10. Working overtime with no payoff
When one partner is willing to do their part to mend existing issues, but this aid is offered only up to a certain point. This begs the question: When it comes to saving the marriage, how much responsibility falls on each partner? What is a reasonable threshold?
Aforementioned are the reasons why marriages fail, so the information above could serve as insight to prospecting couples as well as couples thereby proving helpful in addressing possible shortcomings in marriages.
Information source: slice.ca
